Apple dropped from Burj Dubai to validate Newton’s laws disappears

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Dubai, UAE. An apple, which was dropped from the highest tip of Burj Dubai to double-check Newton’s laws of motion and Gravitation, has disappeared and has been untraceable since it was dropped by His Highness Sheikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum. The decision to drop the apple was taken after various Arab and European scholars disputed the validity of Newton’s findings, especially the theory of gravitation.

Apart from the theory of gravitation, the apple was also supposed to validate Newton’s laws of motion, especially the second law. The exact height of the Burj Tower, which remains a mystery till date, was to be ascertained using one of the equations of motion based on the second law. And if the result were to agree with the official version on the height of the tower, Newton’s laws would have been officially recognized in the richest emirate.

“His Highness took a bold and modern step but somehow the apple never reached the ground. It’s an unfortunate and serious development and raises questions over Newton’s laws and theories. It’s incumbent upon the Newtonian scientists now to prove that the laws are still valid.” leading scholar Yasir Arafat said.

While the moderate scholars like Yahis Arafat term the development as ‘unfortunate’, a few of the hardliners have declared the whole act of dropping an apple as ‘infidel’ and have asked Sheikh Mohammad to apologize.

“Apple is the forbidden fruit and I wonder what Sheikh was doing with it on the rooftop of a tower.” said Yousuf, who has now joined Taliban after renouncing his UAE citizenship five years back, from some unknown and unbombed part of Pakistan, adding, “There is nothing to validate, we always knew that Newton’s laws were wrong; if every action had equal and opposite reaction, bombs should have imploded back after exploding.”

Meanwhile a massive manhunt has been launched to locate and recover the missing apple. Various theories have been put forward regarding the disappearance of the apple. Many people believe that the laborers from India and Pakistan might have stolen the apple mid-air as they get only one roti and a bowl of daal to eat on normal days.

“They might have thought that Sheikh was rewarding them for their hard work with an apple. Thousands of laborers were used to build Burj Dubai and one lucky person might have grabbed the apple as it fell, and fled away with it so that the other laborers don’t demand their share.” Habib Hussain of Nagpur, who had run back to India hiding in a toilet of an Air India flight, said.

After Nano, Tata all set to launch Nanny – the people’s helicopter

THIS PARTICULAR ARTICLE IS NOT MEANT TO DEFAME ANY CORPORATION OR PERSON, BUT SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT

Mumbai. Now each one can fly. No, that’s not a new slogan from some plane ticket booking website, but a promise by the reputed Tata Group, which has announced their latest plans to launch Nanny – the people’s helicopter. Nanny will cost around 10 Lakh rupees and will be specially manufactured for the Indian middle class that desires to have safer and quicker means of transport at an affordable cost.

“As a young boy, Ratan Tata had dreamt that every Indian family should have their own helicopter; Nanny is realization of the same.” said a Tata spokesperson, adding, “There were critics who had claimed that our lakh-rupees car Nano would populate the road and add to traffic jams. But now, powered with Nanny, people can simply ignore the road traffic.”

Interestingly, Nanny can be used both on land and in air, making it the most versatile vehicle available to the common masses till now. It will have a seating capacity of four persons and a top speed of 250 Kms/hr. Nanny will be launched in December 2012.

With such a grand project in sight, political parties have started wooing the Tata Group to set up manufacturing plants in their respective constituencies. They also expect Nanny to be equipped with latest security and landing measures for their leaders.

Tata have contacted Havells, the leader in ceiling fans, for a partnership. This is the open secret for its affordability.

China jails the animation head of AVATAR for not using red color

THIS PARTICULAR ARTICLE IS NOT MEANT TO DEFAME ANY CULTURE, GOVERNMENT, COUNTRY, PEOPLE OR MOVIE BUT ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT. ALL THE NAMES USED ARE FICTITIOUS.

Beijing. A Chinese court has awarded 11 years imprisonment to acclaimed animation artist Lu Xoxo for not using red color, the national color of China, in his blockbuster project AVATAR in whuch he worked as the Head of the Animation Dept. He was charged for defamation and betrayal of nation. In a press release, the chinese expressed dissent over the “Na’vi” being portrayed in blue color in the movie. Mr. Ho Liang, the deputy chair of the ruling Communist Party in China has been quoted as saying “Mr. Xoxo brought shame to our nation and insulted our govt. by portraying the “Na’vi” in blue.”

“His sentence would have been much harsher. The law provisions for 15 years of jail for inciting inhibitions of the state color. He has got off lightly!” said a Chinese govt. spokesperson amidst international protests. The government has warned that any external attempt to lobby for reduction of the jail term would lead to even harsher punishment for Lu.

“Lu has got nothing to do with betrayal or defamation of the chinese govt. Can you imagine the “Na’vi” in red? They would look more like monsters than the peace-loving creatures they are. We didn’t know he’d be jailed for this.” Lu’s wife Xia said.

According to sources, the communist govt. is planning to ban screening of the movie in its territory. There’s also  a possibility that the movie will be modified for the country’s citizens.

Government asks people to hold breath daily for ten minutes to cut emissions

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New Delhi. Union Minister for Environment, Mr. Jairam Ramesh, has proposed that the citizens of India should practice breath-holding to cut down on the emission of carbon-dioxide in the country. Mr. Ramesh informed that the government could soon bring an ordinance making it compulsory for each citizen to hold breath for at least ten minutes each day. Minister averred that it was the best way to resolve the climate change impasse, and portray a responsible image of India to the rest of the world.

“It will not only curb the emission level of carbon-dioxide, but it can actually be quite healthy for our people. The Muslims can hold their breath for two-minutes each before their five prayers, while the Hindus can practice pranayam daily and cut down on their flab as well.“ Jairam Ramesh proposed a secular solution to the climate problems. Earlier, Ramesh had asked foreigners to stop eating beef to cut down emissions, but his statement was accused of being inspired from Hindu ethos, and hence communal.

Former US President George Bush holding breath – a few people believe that Jairam Ramesh is following an American conspiracy

Coming on a day when Copenhagen summit on climate change gets underway, Jairam Ramesh’s statement is being seen as an attempt to present India’s serious take on the climate change issues. But his statement has not gone down well with anyone, with even the pro-Hindu BJP denouncing his suggestions. BJP accused Ramesh of acting under pressure from ‘foreign powers’ and staged a walk-out from the parliament, with all the BJP MPs breathing heavily as a mark of protest.

Not only the opposition, there are voices of opposition even within the government. UPA leader and Railway Minister Mamta Banerjee too has expressed her reservations over Jairam Ramesh’s proposal of making breath-holding compulsory. She has proposed two alternatives to the proposal – First, instead of asking every Indian to hold breath, ask all the Bengali communists to not breathe at all, and second, ask every Indian to talk incessantly, as research has found that when we talk, we don’t breathe.

Among the non-political circles, Baba Ramdev is quite excited over the prospects and has promised to carry out workshops of pranayam for the countrymen. Association of Fat Ass People have welcomed the solution, asking for a total ban on sports and other physical activities that causes people to breathe fast and hence exhale a lot more carbon-dioxide.

Buoyed by these responses, the government is considering introducing the compulsory breath-holding ordinance this week itself, whenever the parliament has over 10% attendance.

Facebook launches Facebook Tsunami to take on Google Wave

THIS PARTICULAR ARTICLE IS NOT MEANT TO DEGRADE ANY FIRM/ENTERPRISE/CORPORATION, BUT ONLY INTENDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT.

California, USA. Google Wave, in the past few months, has created a lot of debates over what could be the future of online communication. Many speculators believed that Facebook would face its first serious threat and might not survive the competition. In an attempt to obviate these speculations, the Facebook team worked on a complete makeover of Facebook. As a result, facebook is all set to launch Facebook Tsunami.

The new Facebook Tsunami gets perfectly synchronized with its users and is able to generate automatic status messages on their profiles, depending upon their current activity and what they plan to do in future. During a beta release of the new version, fluctuations in the status messages were seen all over the world that left people amused.

Miss Woods received the shock of her life when her status message changed from “chatting” to “having s*x with Harry”, five minutes after her boyfriend came to her apartment. She had to answer embarrassing phone calls from her friends and relatives. Gaurav Raman, an engineering student lost his eight girlfriends as his Tsunami profile mentioned anatomical details of each of his girlfriends.

But there were many others who were quite happy with the results like Santa Singh, whose status message got updated as “thinking”, even though his friends believed that it was a proof that the beta version had some bugs.

India Inc Announces Launch of Six New States

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India Incorporated, world’s leading producer of cattle and second largest producer of humans, today announced the launch of six new states to augment its line of states and union territories. At a glittering function held at its headquarters in New Delhi, CEO of India Inc, Dr. Manmohan Singh launched the states of Telangana, Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh and Vidharba. With the addition of the six new states, India Inc now boasts of 34 States and 7 Union Territories.

With demand for states increasing all over the country, India Inc is seeking to ride the growth in demand with this new range of states. “We have geared up for enhancing our state range. We are launching new states,” Dr. Manmohan Singh said. This state lineup boasts of large assortment of sub-lingual groups of people, all available in variety of customs, traditions, superstitions and cultural trademarks.

“The new line of states offers an alternative to those people who are dissatisfied and fed-up with our existing range of states and seek value-enhancement and improvement in their experiences with our states. Our new line of states will be especially useful to large number of users of our existing line of states like Andhra Pradesh, West Bengal, Utter Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra and Rajashthan, who have been complaining of poor infrastructure and services for a very long time. With the launch of these new states, we hope to fill the administrative lacuna and are confident that our consumers will be fully satisfied with the new range of features available to them.” said P.Chidambaram, senior Director for Home Products. He added that the new series of states will be rolled out in next few months after completion of all the necessary legislative formalities and administrative groundwork.

“The new states will address the multiple needs of the consumers of our existing states. They will change the way our customers will do business with us. Addition of six new capitals will facilitate easier and quicker access to our services.” he said while speaking to reporters after the end of the launch function.

A value-added Telangana ranks as one of the states that India Inc is particularly excited about, said Pranab Mukherjee, Director of Finance. “Telangana has been one of our most talked about exciting new states in the media during the launching phase. The run-up to the production of Telangana generated several controversies due to which the process of releasing the new states was delayed by several years. We faced tremendous opposition from several quarters, but mostly from existing users of AP who felt that a new state would devalue the state of Andhra Pradesh. Many users of AP were extremely unwilling to give up their control over land for the production of Telangana. But we have managed to successfully stem the opposition and succeeding in procuring land for the creation of Telangana.” added Mukherjee.

Mukherjee refuted the critisism that foreign investment will be adversely affected due to the establishment of new states. “The creation of new states will offer fresh employment opportunities to thousands of new politicians and existing politicians  who are unable to make much headway in their careers. As a result of these new states, thousands of bureaucrats will be promoted in their jobs and enjoy more powers than before. Establishment of six new capitals will result in a constuction boom in the chosen towns which will revitalize the economy of the states and provide lucrative contracts and kickbacks worth thousands of crores to everyone-politicians, bureaucrats, industrialists, builders and even foreign investors.”

But market observers have cynically dismissed the launch of new states as desperate efforts by India Inc to prevent increasing irrelevancy and obsolesce of its existing range of states. “This new line of states will change absolutely nothing.” said investor Rakesh Jhunjhunwala and provided the examples of the failure of the recently launched states of Chattisgarh and Jharkhand.

“Look at the performance of the last two states released by India Inc, Chattisgarh and Jharkhand. The establishment of former didn’t stem the tide of naxalism in the state, but actually increased the violence in the region, and in the case of the latter, the only person who has derived benefit from its creation is one Madhu Koda, who was at one time the Director of Operations of the state.” he said.

CAT servers hacked, students asked extremely personal questions

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Hyderabad. “Have you ever had a bl** j*b in public?” was the question that popped up on his computer screen when Ankit Agarwal was taking CAT 2009 online at the Hyderabad Business School center here. A shocked and upset Ankit looked around to find equally dumbfounded faces of fellow test takers at the center. A few minutes passed when all of them realized that CAT servers had been hacked.

“I found all the students straining their eyes and looking around with puzzling looks at each other, and I sensed that something was wrong. But I still answered the BJ question by choosing the option (b), which was in affirmative, assuming IIMs wanted to test us on some abstruse parameter, the next thing on screen was a middle finger, telling me I was a loser. I immediately knew that the servers were hacked.” Ankit recounted his harrowing experience.

Several centers around the country reported the same problem with the students asked absolutely ridiculous and offensive questions such as “have you ever slept with a transvestite?” and “will you mop up the poop of pet dog of your boss to get promotion?”, all of them ending with a middle finger on the screen when students cared to choose an available option. It was the first day of online CAT for admission to the six IIMs and many other well known and lesser known MBA institutes. online, exam, test

“IIMs are known to change the pattern of CAT quite often, therefore many students thought that maybe these questions had some hidden meanings. But we felt like losers once that middle finger appeared on the screen. I talked to many of my friends and all of them feel the same. The questions appeared to have been taken straight out of a show of Sach Ka Saamna.” Chetan Pandit, another CAT test taker shared his experience.

IIMs have called for an emergency meeting this evening to discuss the problem and to nail down the hacker, but the event has already caused huge embarrassment to them. Many students, who otherwise had bunked the online CAT to see movies, were seen demonstrating in front of the centers asking IIMs to go back to paper-and-pen tests. Thackeray guys too joined the protests and broke computers as a symbol of protest.

This unfortunate incident has also caused many test conducting agencies and internet security agencies to pitch for their services to IIMs and ask them to outsource CAT to them. These agencies have also approached Ministry of Human Resource Development with what they termed as ‘lucrative’ proposals.

Meanwhile the students are fuming over the possibility that they will have to take the test again, which is often touted as their ticket to a better life. Most of the students believe, and more importantly want their parents to believe, that they were performing exceptionally well at the test before the hackers struck and denied them an opportunity to change their lives.

UN effort to create International Anti-Terrorism Day ends in a stalemate

Geneva: A United Nations led effort to create an ‘International Anti-Terrorism Day’ resulted in a stalemate after member countries of the UN general assembly failed to reach a consensus on the choice of the day of the year to be observed as World Anti-Terrorism Day.

A motion to declare September the eleventh of every year as the day to mark International day against terrorism was tabled by US ambassador to the UN, Susan Rice. But the motion was opposed by Indian ambassador to UN, Nirupam Sen who urged members of the UN to vote for 26/11 as International Anti-Terrorism Day.  “United States being the sole superpower of the world at the time of WTC attacks had marketed the 9/11 attacks better than us or any other country of the world that has suffered the scourge of terrorism. But now we are a rising power and have learnt to market our terror attacks to the world as effectively as US. In terms of sensation and headline-grabbing value, the 26/11 terror attacks on Taj Hotel were not less effective than the 9/11 attacks. We let a small bunch of Pakistani terrorists run amok for nearly 60 hours allowing TV channels from all over the world provide ‘live’ non-stop coverage of the event fueling unprecedented interest in the attacks in world media.”

When US envoy objected saying that less than 200 people died on 26/11 in comparison to over 3000 victims of 9/11 attacks, Sen reminded the assembly that India has been a victim of terrorism since several decades and therefore it would be most appropriate that the day chosen to mark as International Anti-Terrorism Day should be a day which is memorable to Indians for its fight against terrorism. “Terrorists have killed more Indians than people of any other nationality. Unlike US, which has experienced the horrors of terrorism only a couple of times in its entire history, we have faced hundreds of terror attacks for many decades in almost every state of India which have claimed lacs of lives.” thundered Mr. Sen. “We demand that we should be given the right to chose International Anti-Terrorism Day”

Immediately, Pakistan’s envoy to UN, Abdullah Haroon, objected to India’s demand saying that Pakistan deserves to be given the right to choose the day. “Other countries may have faced terrorism, but no other country in the world is as closely linked to terrorism as Pakistan. Our country is universally recognized as epicenter of international terrorism. As biggest exporter of terrorism, we deserve the right to choose International Anti-Terrorism Day.”  said Mr. Haroon. But when asked by some members to provide a suitable day for the purpose, the Pakistani envoy fumbled for words. “It is difficult to choose a single day right away since we have been exporting terrorism 365 days a year, but I will check with the interior ministry of Pakistan to find out on which day our terror exports have boomeranged on us causing us maximum casualties.”

Israel’s representative to the UN, Gabriela Jew, feeling left-out from the proceedings, joined in the discussion by pooh-poohing India and Pakistan’s claims and said that Israel has the sole right to chose the day. She pointed out to the general assembly that Israel was the only country in the world whose creation itself resulted in terrorism. “Palestinians have been terrorizing us since the day Israel was created through UN mandate. Modern terrorism began in Israel. In fact, we practically invented the word ‘terrorism’. Prior to creation of Israel, terrorists were called by different names depending on their aims and objectives. In the ancient and medieval times, they were termed as hashasins or zealots. Later they were called as revolutionaries, anarchists, assassins, nationalists and even freedom-fighters. But after the armed resistance of Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) against the creation of Israel, all armed groups fighting against any legitimate UN-approved state are uniformly called terrorists.”

“Imagine the confusion if there was no common, generally accepted definition of terrorism. Militant groups would have gained legitimacy by calling themselves as revolutionaries or freedom-fighters. By just giving the world modern definition of terrorism, we have united the entire world against terrorism..against every act of violence against the state.” The ambassador proposed that Israel’s independence day, May 14, should be declared as International Anti-Terrorism Day. This led to laughter amongst the Arab block of countries. One of the ambassadors laughingly agreed with the Israeli envoy and said that he fully supports the choice of that date. “No other day better represents the oppression of the Palestinian people through state terrorism of Israel.” he quipped.

Susan Rice interrupted the discussion reminding the assembly the importance of 9/11 terror attacks in changing the world. “Everyone agrees the world changed forever after 9/11 attacks. Millions may have died from terrorism else where in the world prior to September 11, 2001. But it was the attacks on twin towers that brought terror right into the homes of billions of television viewers all over the world. The image of airplanes crashing into WTC towers has been imprinted forever in the minds of billions.” she said to the assembly.

The Russian envoy agreed with Rice that the televised terror of 9/11 was indeed an unforgettable  experience but said that the powerful imagery of the twin towers being hit by airplanes didn’t match the sheer magnificence of the mushroom clouds generated by the attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and to the shock of all members of the assembly, proposed that August 6, the day Hiroshima was nuked by US, should be observed as International Anti-Terrorism Day. Everyone looked at the Japanese ambassador expecting him to react favorably to the proposal, but an embarrassed Yuki Chu looked away shaking his head in disapproval.

But the Russian ambassador to the UN, Adam Martyn, grabbing the opportunity to embarrass United States was in no mood to relent and pointed out that no other single act of terror in the history of planet has caused as much destruction to life and property as the bombing of the two Japanese towns. “Over 2 lac people were killed by the atomic blasts within just 3 days. The twin bombing of Hiroshima & Nagasaki has killed nearly 100 times more people than the twin attacks on WTC towers. In terms of impact, devastation, loss of life, sheer horror of the after-effects and stunning photography, the twin atomic blasts easily beat all other terror attacks throughout the history of mankind.”

A stunned Ms Rice vetoed down the Russian proposal and registered a strong protest against the Russian ambassador for terming the nuking of Japanese towns as an terrorism. “An act of military attack approved and enforced under the direction of the POTUS can never be regarded as an act of terror.” screamed a shocked Susan and reminded the Russian envoy about the atrocities and executions committed by the Russian communist leader Joseph Stalin.

Diplomats from many countries seized the opportunity to demand that any war not legitimized by UN should be termed as an act of terrorism. An unidentified diplomat was heard muttering that “War is terrorism with a bigger budget.” provoking laughter in his vicinity.

Fake News interview with a dead terrorist of the Mumbai terror attacks

THIS PARTICULAR POST HAS BEEN MAILED TO US BY A VISITOR (SIDDARTH REDDY), SO WE CLAIM NO AUTHORITY ON THE MATERIAL.

Mumbai. Exactly a year back, ten terrorists came to Mumbai to kill people and subsequently to get killed in the process, so that they were rewarded virgins in the heaven after they died. Nine of them (assuming the official count to be true) were killed while one, called Ajmal Amir Kasab, was captured alive. While we know (to the extent government and media wants us to know) how Kasab has been doing in the last one year, have we ever wondered what happened to those nine killed?

Our correspondent immediately took up the assignment and did a GODgle search (a search engine especially made for heaven by dead Google engineers) to find about the nine terrorists, but he couldn’t get any result. Since no Microsoft employees were involved in making of Godgle, our correspondent was dead sure that it was not some bug.

After filing an RTI in the office of MCH (Municipal Corporation of Heaven), our correspondent received the shocking revelation that none of those nine killed terrorists actually reached the heaven. They didn’t even get a waiting list, in fact they were straightway sent to the hell.

Clearly it was a Breaking News. So our correspondent decided to travel to hell to interview some of the dead terrorists. Since the diplomatic relations between Hell and Heaven are on rocks due to the ongoing and historical enmity between Satan and God, our correspondent was denied visa to go to hell. But after a lot of deliberations and requests, finally permission for a telephonic interview with one of the terrorists was allowed.

The nine dead terrorists apparently authorized a certain Imran Babar to speak on their behalf to Fake News. Followings are the highlights of the Fake News interview with the dead terrorist:

Fake News (FN): Thanks for speaking to us Imran. How are you feeling?

Imran Babar (IB): O benchod! Aag laga ke rakhi hai pichhwade mein ek saal se inhone, aur kaisa feel karunga? (My ass has been on fire since last one year, what am I supposed to feel?)

FN: Sorry for your ass Imran, but it must have been a shocker to find yourself in the hell after being promised virgins in the heaven?

IB: abbey jale pe namak mat chhidak! (abbey, don’t add injury to my insult!) Virgins? My ass! I’m getting fucked in my ass daily by the Satan here.

FN: Oh! Sorry again for your ass Imran, but did you seriously have no idea, when you were alive, that you could actually end up in such a situation?

IB: How was I supposed to know then? I could make bombs, use Google Maps and operate Kalashnikovs, but that doesn’t mean I knew everything. I depended upon my commanders (in LET) for all the instructions and knowledge. I blindly trusted them on these matters.

FN: Do you feel cheated by them?

IB: inki maa ki! I feel such an asshole now to have believed their crap. I’m sure those bastards would too end up coming here. I’m gonna fuck their happiness I swear! benchod saale!

FN: Can you tell us a little more about yourself and your friends?

IB: There is nothing to tell. We are being tortured like hell. Well, what more do you expect in hell?

FN: Do you repent your beliefs and deeds?

IB: Do I need to answer that question?

FN: Apart from earlier terrorists, whom else did you meet in hell?

IB: Oh that’s so funny, you would be shocked to know, and your editors back on earth will never publish the names. In fact, now I’m dead sure there is no way out there on earth where we can predict who’s gonna land up in heaven or hell, and yet we are fighting for ages now. I’m sure you too must be feeling the same back there in the heaven. Tell me dude, do you really get virgins there?

FN: None that I’ve been awarded yet.

IB: What the hell! Then where are all the virgins?

FN: You still believe in this infidel vs. faithful talk?

IB: Well, the Satan talks about them before pounding my ass. Sometimes he sounds just like my earlier commanders in Lashkar-e-Taiba. But the good thing is that he doesn’t promise me any good days ahead like those assholes in Lashkar.

FN: One of your friends, Kasab, has been caught alive. Do you guys know it?

IB: Of course we know it. When we found him missing in the hell, we were pretty sure he was alive, as there is no way he could have gone to the heaven. We heard he’s been provided biryani and books. Lucky bastard! Man, this sucks! Here I’m getting ass-fucked by Satan and there he is enjoying all the hospitality of Indians. I’m sure the future terrorists will not listen to the assholes of Lashkar and won’t kill themselves. It’s far better to be alive.

FN: Where do you see yourself five years from now?

IB: With a wider ass and a hungrier Satan.

FN: Since this interview will be read by living people back on earth, do you have any message for the aspiring terrorists down there?

IB: Oh yeah! I have one simple advice for them – if you want the virgins, stay away from the assholes.

Taxes to be paid through Facebook and Twitter?

THIS PARTICULAR POST IS NOT INTENDED TO DEGRADE ANY POLITICAL PARTY OR GOVERNMENT, ITS SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENTERTAINMENT.

Hyderabad. John Gupta, an MNC dude, wants to pay his tax using modern technological tools like facebook status updates or twitter tweets. Mr. Gupta, who hates to come out of his room and has made his company arrange for a workstation there itself, is planning to launch a mass agitation from within his room to force the government into accepting his demands.

“This is ridiculous. The UPA government claims it represents the young India but what is it doing to prove it? A young common Indian has to run from one office to another and gather a heap of documents even to pay money to the government. The government should take all the trouble in gathering information and documenting them if it wants money.” Mr. Gupta told Fake News.

Mr. Gupta wants the I-T department to make either a facebook or a twitter ID.

“I-T department can have a twitter ID and start following all of us young Indians. We would declare our earnings through tweets and the department can analyze and archive the data. If that sounds too cumbersome, the department could have a facebook page where we would put the required information regarding our earnings, savings etc. on the wall, if those lazy fellows don’t want to follow our status updates on facebook as well. We can even upload scanned documents on the facebook page wall if the government really wants to pain us and asks for proof.” Mr. Gupta expounded his proposed action plan.

He has sent a memorandum to the government and asked them to implement his plan within two weeks failing which he’d start a mass agitation by making facebook groups, orkut communities and various public blogs. He has asked all like minded individuals to support him in his endeavors. He was too lazy to give our reporter his contact details, where lazy like minded individuals could contact him.